Sorry I haven’t written for a while (not that you care, you’re probably perfectly happy in your little none-angry-feminist bubble full of penises and sandwiches. Mmm, sandwich…) but I’ve been lazy. This particular article/rant was inspired by a night out I had recently, where I gave some Neanderthal an earful. It was drunkenly inarticulate and mostly involved me calling him a misogynistic, homophobic asshole. FEMINIST SMASH. However, it is genuinely something that I find to be a problem in a wider context and something I feel strongly about.
Within much gay rights activism focus is upon male homosexuality - and not unduly for this is the type of homosexuality that society (read: MALE society) has a problem with to a much larger extent. Male homosexuality, after all, has been condemned by the Bible and been made unlawful under many different governments in many countries around the world. Guys just don’t like the idea. What if he, like, fancies me or something? What if I fancy HIM? Society itself would indeed crumble!
However, female homosexuality is not given a direct mention in the Bible and is not normally the focus of unlawful homosexuality. Probably because that shit isn’t real. Or because lesbians are totally hot. Besides, they only do that stuff for the benefit of men; to turn them on. Just look at the porn industry lesbians – blatantly doing it for men.
Herein lies the fundamental problem of female homosexuality – people don’t think that it exists. Either that, or lesbians are seen as embittered man-haters. Obviously neither of these things are true (not all of time, anyway. Some lesbians may very well hate men, just as some straight women might). Female homosexuality seems to be tied together with politics. When I say that I’m a feminist it is almost expected that I will be a lesbian because all that ever is, is a political statement. I understand that some women use it as such and I’d question the effectiveness of that. By being a ‘political lesbian’ one undermines the legitimacy of female sexuality even further – you’re giving them ammunition. If we want to be taken seriously we need to consider lesbianism and female bisexuality as a legitimate sexuality just as male homosexuality is.
Our patriarchal society has made sex the dominion of the male. The act of sex is seen as something to be carried out and desired by a male, whilst the female exists to be the object of this desire and subject to the sex act instead of partaking in it. The fact that women want sex too is a shocking one to men and one that it has taken them centuries to digest. At present we are moving somewhat positively towards sexual liberation for women but the prejudices are still overwhelmingly present. For a start, women should only want sex with a man and cannot possibly get sexual pleasure without the presence of a penis. I mean, lesbians can’t have sex, can they? If there’s no penis involved there’s no sex.
Sadly, I’ve heard this myth from straight women as well as men. When we talk about sex in a hetero-normative context the immediate assumption is that sex means coitus and that this is the only possible way to ‘have sex’. If your definition is so narrow then the assumption is understandable but if this logic is followed then surely gay men cannot ‘have sex’ either? And yet, the involvement of a penis seems to legitimise male gay sex. Surely this speaks volumes about whose definition of sex we are speaking about. Who else would define sex as involving a penis but our inherently patriarchal society? Women buy into this assumption and help to perpetuate it, but it originates from a male desire to dominate sexuality as a whole, the idea that women are there only to please them sexually. This idea helps them to warp female homoerotic activity into something that exists only for them to enjoy. Women have even helped to perpetuate this by using homosexual acts to attract men, effectively buying into the subjugation of other women. Way to go. You’re a credit to your sex, really.
The problem is exacerbated for bisexual females; all of the usual lesbian stereotypes with added prejudice. If we like men too then we must be doing it for attention! And we blatantly just want to have sex with anything that moves.
We are trivialised even by those we care about. In my personal experience a lot of guys upon discovering my sexuality comment that it’s ‘hot’. As though my sexuality were something I invented merely to please them and other males and not something equally as legitimate as my relationship with them. Being bisexual seems to be about having something to prove. I am often quizzed about my girl to guy ratio, which way I swing more, whether it’s ‘just a phase’, whether or not I will eventually be straight or gay.
The problem of female homosexuality and, indeed, female sexuality is something created by male society and so ingrained as to be seen by some women as the norm and thus perpetuated by them. Basically, we need to start taking ourselves more seriously. If we take ourselves seriously then men are a lot more likely to follow suit.
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